Theifs Knock Themselves Out
So you want to get into a closed store and do some after hours shopping? Great! But first we have to get by that pesky layer of glass between you and all the goodies. Grab a friend and put on your sneak shoes because we are going to show you the dumb way of breaking a window.
Like I mentioned before, you’re going to need a dumb friend for this one as well as an establishment you want to break into. Obviously you are going to want to do this at night as to avoid detection and to make sure that no one is around to help you when you inevitably knock yourself unconscious. You will also need some bricks or large rocks. The Choice you make will effect your breaking power. What are you trying to do? Break the window into a million little pieces? Give your friend permanent brain damage? Scatter pieces of your skull all over the parking lot? Great! Now let’s put this plan into action.
Start by having your friend set up as a lookout. You are going to want to place him at an angle relative to your throwing angle. Think of it as a game of billiards. Now take your first rock and throw. You may hear a loud thud behind you. Not to worry though, it’s probably the rock just hitting the ground. Don’t be surprised if it sounds like a 180 pound man falling to the ground, it’s just the rock. Now if the window hasn’t shattered that means you just need to get a little closer and throw it a little harder. You are probably a little disappointed with yourself and may feel that you need to be punished but you have work to do. Hey, why don’t you throw it at your own reflection? That way you still get to break in and you feel like you are punishing yourself at the same time. The next step is very easy. Sleep. Sleep you dumb dumb criminal. And when you wake up you may want to take and advil or two. Congratulations dumb criminal and thanks for putting your brilliant plan into motion for our training purpose.
Enjoy.
